i was a guitar god for halloween

cheree cheree

fuck it all, i'm so defeated. jesus help me.

my new suicide record is pretty good. still spending myself into oblivion, even today i fork over $99 plus tax in credit for a wireless adapter for my 360. my toys are staring at me from their glass display. i'm really not doing very well right now, but i'll keep pretending i am and i'll keep pretending everything is ok. yeah and i keep praying too, it helps.

many things to update about

i went to the mountain goats w/ kaki king show on saturday for travis' birthday. i went with travis of course and chaz and his girlfriend, melody. it was such a satisfying show, highly entertaining and travis and i were plenty drunk, good times. kaki king is amazing, i fell in love with another female singer/guitarist. i also bought a mountain goats tshirt, the satanic messiah ep limited to a pressing of 666, there were only like seven left, and the split 12" ep, black pear tree with kaki king, also limited but i'm not sure how many, both are really good.

almost all of my toys have come in the mail now, except the six peecols from the special halloween grab bag sale at kidrobot.com. still no ariel pink record, i'm sure it will be here soon though. my debt is through the roof, around 3,500, i'm a little stressed about it. i've been spending myself seriously into oblivion lately, to name a few of the things i got recently, two of the kidrobot kidreapers by andrew bell, i bought two because the first one i bought was the chase, know what that means? i get to sell it and basically get the regular version for free! i bought and have been playing dead space for the 360, it's way sick, everything i thought it would be really. i also bought snuff the new novel by chuck palahniuk, i'm not really much of a reader unless you count comic books, but i have read some of chucks earlier novels and liked them alot, so i'm gonna give this one a go.

i finished watching moonphase, it was so cute and the story is still with me, great characters, nice blend of action, romance, and comedy, and it's an interesting and new take on vampires and vampire lore, very well done i thought. the last bonus episode after the real last episode was ok, not great though, spoiler: they end up getting swallowed by a whale. i'm watching dexter season two now, i'm three episodes in and as expected i'm totally digging it. i started watching el topo, a 1970's surreal chilean western directed by alejandro jodorowsky, it was late when i started it so i fell asleep part way through, what i saw though was awesome. there are two other movies by jodorowsky on netflix i'm going to watch as well.

and thats about that, can't wait to get off work and play more dead space. oh and we sold three cars now this month, thats bad, but not as bad as no cars at all.

arrrrrrgh!!

did i mention how much i love moonphase? i found the complete series used at fye yesterday and couldnt resist buying it. i also picked up the fx bootleg version of the please teacher! complete series and frisky dingo season 1 also used.

and today what did i do? i made my first purchase at kidrobot.com, the regular brown version of el chupacabra by sara antoinette limited to 500, sucklord 600 by suckadelic, and some various blindboxes. now my shit just needs to come in the mail and we need to stay in business long enough for everything to arrive or just stay in business, i don't want to lose my job.

i get my kicks with vinyl and flix

vinyl toys. i recently started a collection, it's small right now and probably foolish to be spending my money on such things with the economy the way it is but whatever i like them. the hellboy was my first, a custom munny by me that i did back in february, then i got the larger munny and never did anything with it, and until recently didn't buy any toys. i've bought several dunny series 5 blind boxes, a couple dunny french series blind boxes, the hugh hefner peecol, a quee keychain, and a kidrobot simpsons figure blind box, and i did a custom of one of the french series dunnys i didn't like. next time i do a custom i'm gonna user paint markers and a matte finish rather than gloss.

i got some new vinyl records as well recently, danzig 4 by danzig, tiger army III: ghost tigers rise by tiger army, nebraska by bruce springsteen, controversy by prince, tri-danielson (alpha/omega) by danielson and reckless burning by jesse sykes and the sweet hereafter. i'm still waiting after three weeks on my ebay wins for ariel pink and deep sea creature cassette, also i have sunn o)))'s new live album, domkirk, on the way + the tshirt.

i've been watching the anime series moonphase through netflix and all the dvd's alex let me borrow, like the two tetsuo movies and a snake of june and and two of the vengence trilogy movies, sympathy for mr. vengence and lady vengence. so alot of asian entertainment lately. and i forgot how much i like japanese animation. moonphase is deliciously good, i can't wait to see the next volume so long as netflix doesn't send another dvd out of queue order, i was sent instead of vol. 3, holy mountain which was in the slot right after the last vol. of moonphase in my queue. i hope thats not a regular mistake.

thats all for now folks. oh i never mentioned that my sister and her family moved in with me and my parents in our condo a little while back two weeks or so now. it's going fine though a little cramped and i'm sharing my bathroom prviously private bathroom now with 6 more people, i sometimes have a problem with remembering which towell is mine. oh and some bad news, business is so shitty, we haven't sold a car yet this month, pray for us. and that is all for now. i'm going to update less regular like this from now on since there is not enough going on in my life to warrant daily updates.

netflix is a great service

i'm nearly finished watching the movies i rented they all have to be returned by next wednesday in one week. i just watched mr. lonely, and i loved it. best movie i've seen so far from all the movies i rented and the soundtrack of which i purchased on vinyl is really good too. and to add to the so many movies i need to watch i got myself a netflix account, the first couple came today including forgetting sarah marshall, it took forever to be released to dvd and i'm excited to see it, i regretted never seeing it it the theatres.

and i ordered two records today, cost me $150 for the both of them. the eluvium boxset titled, life through bombardment and the new sunn o))) album, dømkirke with the tshirt.

and new well behaved tapes website is up. and! and! and my ep, glitter on your cheekbones limited in an edition of 30 on a blue or pink spray painted cd-r is very close to being ready for sale through the well behaved tapes myspace profile and website.

i don't even know how many records i own

lately i don't feel like updating constantly so much, so expect posts fewer and farther between maybe every five days at the most.

last thursday i went to salt lake to hang out with alex after work. we bought some records and had dinner at squatters. the records i got were the mister lonely soundtrack by j. spaceman and the sun city girls, darkness on the edge of town by bruce springsteen, and two king khan records. at squatters we had this pumpkin spice beer that was so good, like pumpkin pie as a drink. alex also let me borrow a shitload of movies, mostly asian foreign films. and the other day i rented a shitload of movies from blockbuster, i have so many movies to watch it almost feels like homework.

on saturday travis and i went to salt lake again to see alex, shop for records and see choke. we originally planned to see choke today, but thought it would be better to not do anything with our sunday and see it on saturday instead. i spent so much money on food, records, movie, beers, and to close the evening we went to the hookah bar, which was really lame. the records i got on saturday were original pressings of surfin' usa by the beach boys and danzig by danzig, songs in a&e by spiritualized, tnt, standards, and it's all around you by tortoise, music tapes for clouds and tornadoes by the music tapes, and burn, piano island, burn by the blood brothers. lots of good stuff, i'm close to filling three whole shelves, i don't even know how many records i own.

it will cost $4.99

i've completed my song for the split with and so on.... it's called "woolly mammoth's common cold defense". my longest song yet, nearly twenty min. of plugged in electric acoustic guitar and sweet soothing noise. chaz is finishing up his songs and then we're going to do one together.

i'm also putting out my ep titled glitter on your cheekbones very soon, before the weekend. it's three songs i did this last spring and one new one called "computer death blues". the ep will be in an edition of 30 on cd-r, it will cost $4.99.

i love my boss rc-2 loop station

i won the ariel pink record, and paid probably too much money for it, but i'm glad to have won it anyway. grats to me. i also bought a real expensive boss loop effects pedal yesterday and again glad to have it despite the price tag. i made a song with it today called "lay with me goddess" it's my newest single that's backed with another song i made the other day called "milk and honey bath", these songs along with another single, my ep, and my 90 min. cassette will be available soon through my newly created illegitimate label, well behaved tapes. the only wb tapes release available thus far is my "in dark tunnels" single. also coming soon is a split i'm putting out with my friend chaz' project, and so on... called, elephant bones.

and for the movies update, last week i watched terminator 2. i'm on my way to being ready for terminator salvation's theatrical release. before the weekend i watched right at your door. and last night i watched teeth.

trying out this ebay thing

so i've only bid on and won one record through ebay with the account i have now, so far i've done mucho watching, very little bidding. the record i won recently was mount eerie by the microphones. i had an account a long time ago that i no longer have access to and used it to buy some rare videogames, that was years ago. anyway now it's the present and i just clicked the buy it now on a still sealed copy of love you by the beach boys. and i'm bidding on a still sealed copy of underground by ariel pink's haunted graffiti, hope i win it, it's limited to 300 copies.

i've been banned from last.fm

so i signed onto last.fm recently, it's been a long time since i've used that website and let me tell you fuck that website. first off i registered don't make me with last.fm a while ago but stopped using it because i got fed up with the music manager that i'm supposed to manage don't make me's details with and deleted don't make me from their stats or so i thought, glitchy broken shit.

so anyway i came back to just be a regular user recently and i was listening to my songs, don't make me songs and to my surprise it never got deleted don't make me was still filed away with all their music stats and the old picture i uploaded was the still the default, i remembered the old login information and went on with that account to change the picture and i just figured oh well. i continued to use my new account and tried to claim don't make me as mine with the new account, didnt work they wanted me to email them and give them reason why i should claim it, gay.

now the thing to get me banned, i was listening to rob crow's lactose adept. when i looked at my top artists there he was and as crow, rob because thats how i tag my shit, unfortunately it had this annoying and unsightly picture of the last.fm rules stating that i should retag and keep the stats clean, because thats not how your supposed to tag if your gonna be a part of last.fm, super gay. and it was posted by some ugly brazilian chick who goes by the username 'Tchuly' on some crusade to keep the stats clean, fuck her. some people look through the d's in their record collections to find bob dylan and some people look through the b's thats just how it is, who's last.fm and Tchuly to try and change that? seriously fuck them hard.

so i shoutboxed Tchuly and harrassed her a bit demanding that she take down the keep stats clean image so that the real picture of rob crow that i uploaded would become the default. i attempt to log in about and hour ago to find that i've been banned from last.fm and i bet don't make me along with a photo of my face is still on their stupid fucking website, super fucking gay.

wb tapes

ok i decided on a name for my label, well behaved tapes. i like that it's the same initials of another record label that could probably sue me for it.

audio cassettes on the brain

here is an article on the subject of noise called noise techniques from the cassette mythos written by some guy named robin james in 1990. interesting read.

so i want to start my own tape/cd-r label to put out my new album and other things i've done, don't make me and others. i don't really give a shit about it being legitimate, to me you're a label if your putting music into the world all you need to do other than that is christen it with a name. i'm just not sure what that name should be yet. i was thinking make it happen tapes or recordings or whatever after the mariah carey song from the album, emotions. but i think the name is taken and i'd rather not use a name thats already claimed. i'm going to keep brainstorming on that one.

i'm going to call it 100% cotton

i think i'm going to make an album full of up with people songs and take care of our planet songs and christian songs and some syrupy love songs. probably the best album i'll ever record.

successful vegas

vegas was successful, we got 7 cars at both auctions. we ended up flying there and driving back because it was about the same cost and we got to bring one more car back with us. we stayed at sam's town hotel and casino, nice place. it had a century theatre, bowling alley, multiple restaurants and a fake outdoor that was really indoor park with a water and laser light show. we also had some time to shop on the strip, i got a pull over hoodie from h&m in the miracle mile mall. we got back around 5pm yesterday. that evening i called up travis and we went to see burn after reading with my sister, jaime and nick. burn after reading is fargo 2 in spirit, funny movie.

here today i woke up around twelve and have been listening to some records, brian wilson presents smile and smile by boris, i'm going to the mall now to buy some shoes.

it's been a good one

there many good things about today and i've been in generally good spirits too. the weather was perfectly cloudy with a smattering of rain. i got to work late this morning due to a late night playing spore but my dad was cool with it because it was in fact my birthday, and you're allowed to be late to work on your birthday, his words.

dinner was great, sushi, edamame, fuji chicken, half of a sapporo and a squatters india pale ale at the happy sumo. so filling, so good. and pie and presents, my brother jeff gave me a miley cyrus tshirt from when he went with his girls to see her at the fourth of july, stadium of fire where she performed, they all think it's real funny that i lke her music. my sister julie unaware of jeff's gift also gave me a gag gift of hannah montannna pens with a discount double feature dvd, the tell-tale heart and a wes craven's chiller, in a hannah montanna gift bag no less. jaime and nick gave me 23 dollars for my twenty third birthday and i got to open those beach boys records my mom bought for me. i cant wait to listen to all of them but it will have to wait till morning since it's late and i'm tired.

my parents and i also watched the premier of fringe tonight, i've been anticipating it since i heard about it during lost season 4, it's going to be the next best tv show after lost i'm sure.

tomorrow i'm leaving for vegas with my parents to get some cars from two of the auto auctions down there. should be fun, i'm gonna play spore the whole way there and driving cars back nets me a little extra on my next paycheck. we do the vegas thing pretty often, it's nice to get out of town once in a while.

so all in all it's been a good one, another year older.

ictoadnftl 2

another best of list.

1. beach boys/brian wilson/dennis wilson and mount eerie records came in the mail today.
2. my new computer.
3. playing spore on my new computer.
4. my birthday is tomorrow.
5. i completed recording my new album, coronal transient.
6. discovering tape.com where i can order blank cassettes, any length, multiple colors, for cheap.
7. reading alan moore's run on swamp thing, it's so good.

mountain goat

mountain goats are coming. and they and when i say they i mean he's bringing tour exclusive vinyl with him. satanic messiah, a 2x7" limited to 666 copies and a split/collaborative ep with kaki king called black pear tree, it's about the mushroom kingdom. i really hope i can get both of these releases, and pray that the satanic messiah 2x7" doesn't sell out in the four shows before the salt lake one. theres an article on pitchfork about it here.

saga of the swamp thing, part III

so i've been reading alan moore's run on swamp thing, i really like it the writing and art style are just perfect. i haven't gotten too far into it yet, it's pretty long with six volumes total. i'm at the part where swamp thing just found out that he's not alec holland but a plant creature infected with alec's consciousness, needles to say he's having a hard time dealing with it and almost gives up trying to be human. i know i said i was going to start reading swamp thing around when i started this blog, but other forms of entertainment got in the way. i'm glad i'm reading it now though, like every other alan moore comic i've read, it's really good.

ready for the house, part II

my jandek record, ready for the house came in the mail today, i'm listening to it now.

mount eerie

we attended the mount eerie show at kilby court in salt lake last night after having dinner and beers at squatters and getting free tickets for buying records at slowtrain. the show was generally uncomfortable pre phil taking the stage due to the kind of environment present at his shows, ugly clothing and the air of pretense, i hate phil elverum's fans. also speaking to a person who sings to you through your speakers all the time is always a little awkward, i asked him if he had the fog movies with him and he didn't, said said he forgot and theres a big box of them at home and that i should buy one online. instead i bought rope or guillotine by another band on his label, the spectacle and a tshirt after the show was over, i think it is the first shirt he has made available as mount eerie and is a tour exclusive.

i started enjoying the show more after phil began his set, though there was this couple who thought it was ok to stand in the middle of a room full of people sitting. anyone behind them couldn't see the show and it didn't help that this girls ass was huge, this blocked the view for a number of people there including me. after a few songs i moved out of the way. he played some songs off his friends band, thanksgiving's record, welcome nowhere. he called that part of the show the thanksgiving tribute band, funny guy. then he went on to play his own material shrouded in fog, most of the songs were new and are presumably going to end up on his "colossal sounding new album" in 2009, wind's poem.

i hope the new records that i ordered from his website arrive soon, my jesu split with battles of mice finally came yesterday, so that was cool. 

computer games

i haven't played my xbox 360 for a while, it's the only gaming system i own and i have three games, mass effect, gta IV, and operation darkness. i beat mass effect, it was awesome, one of the best games i ever played. i got through a good portion of gta IV, and i'm taking operation darkness at my leisure. i played it for a while the other night, it's a turn based strategy rpg and a more cerebral game than the other two. i cant play it straight through like mass effect, it would take me forever and i'll get too distracted by other games. 

now that i have my own fancy new computer i need to get spore. it's coming out oh so soon, on the 7th, i didn't know that until i saw the review on gamespy. i've been anticipating playing spore for sometime now.

ready for the house

tomorrow we head to salt lake for the mount eerie show, it's just the thing to kick off my favorite month. i'm hoping phil's going to have some of those boring fog movies with him, thats about the only thing of his available that i don't have and i really want it.

i just finished getting everything all situated on my new laptop computer, made the recovery disks, transferred all my personal files including all those mp3s i've been downloading, customized all my settings, backed up everything, and even bought a lap desk because my legs always hurt if i sit with a laptop on my lap for too long. so yeah i dig the new os, vista is pretty nice.

i'll also mention i ordered another record, one by a guy i've never heard before, jandek. supposedly he influenced a number of lo fi artists, like the mountain goats and smog, so i think i'm going to like him. the record is called ready for the house, a repressing of his first record, it was made in like '79 or something. the guy has way too many albums and all of them except the one i ordered are no longer available on vinyl. there is a website that has all the known info on jandek called guide to jandek, theres not much known about him he's a pretty mysterious guy.

new computer

my dad helped me buy a new computer. spent $500 on a sony vaio laptop, he payed for the rest. i'm pretty excited about this.

long live the new flesh i'm a lead farmer, motherfucker!

i watched videodrome sunday night. david cronenberg's movies are perfect. i also saw tropic thunder with my uncle yesterday. i think we are in a golden age of comedies right now.

how labour day weekend started

my aunt diana and uncle norm rolled into town for the weekend, it's been fun having them around. i went shopping with my aunt, mom, and sisters yesterday while my uncle, dad, and brother went to a byu football game, and yeah i would rather shop with a bunch of women then go to a football game. also it was cool of my aunt to buy me a couple records for my upcoming birthday. later we had dinner at p.f. chang's.

on friday travis and i went to the provo fye to browse their record selection, they put them in boxes now, they have that many. travis payed so much money for the white album by the beatles and i bought on avery island by neutral milk hotel, i'm listening to it now. after fye we went to a show at this bar in provo called abg's.

my friend joe is in the band that performed, he asked me to try and make it this time and i did. they're called the split reactions. travis bought us an apricot ale each, those beers are really good. the rest of the beers were free thanks to joe receiving free drink tickets for playing. margaret who is also in the band showed up with her friend allie who i've never met before, she only just moved here recently. and so this was the company at our table. the first band to play was a local band called the alligators. they played their set of sugary pop songs and you couldn't hear them sing and despite this i thought they were really good. the split reactions did their thing second and played well. i also got to see a few friends i haven't seen for a while, it was nice to be remembered and welcomed.

i submit to the blood brothers

i got march on electric children in the mail today. i hereby submit to the blood brothers fully. i now own march on electric children, young machetes, and take me to the sea by jaguar love, who are pretty much the blood brothers with a new name. i plan to complete my collection of blood brothers albums eventually, next i must get the first blood brothers album i ever heard, burn, piano island, burn.

by the way eXistenZ was awesome, i really enjoy watching movies about existentialism and video games, they go well together. another good one, actually a fucking great one i think is the nines, starring ryan reynolds who i happen to think is a really good actor, i've enjoyed most of the movies i've seen him in.

mailorder and ringtones

my cftpa 7" came in the mail today, that was cool. i made one of the ringtones off the 7" my ringtone, lame i know. i love getting shit in the mail. i'm going to watch one of those cronenberg movies, eXistenZ in a minute here after i'm good and done browsing the internet. oh and i shaved off all my facial hair except for the mustache, trimming accident.

the weekend of no labour is nigh upon us.

my black friend aj and other things that happened over the weekend

the weekend was more busy than it should have been and i've delayed writing anything about it till now.

saturday i drove to travis' house in provo. we went to graywhale where travis traded in some records for the led zeppelin mothership box. we ate at taco bell where we met a black guy named aj who works there, he gave us free food and hung out with us while we ate and later asked if we would buy him some kools because he didn't have an id or money a bit of a hustle i suppose. he seemed like a nice guy though and said we should drop by and hang out at muse a local venue later. when we stopped at stogies for the kools i decided to buy a corn cobb pipe and some pipe tobacco for the evening. we went back to travis' house after dropping off the kool's to our black friend aj and listened to the led zeppelin box and smoked some tobacco.

later we went to the d.i. and smith's so travis could get some food to last him the rest of the week he'll be living there, he's moving on sunday to my town, pleasant grove. i'll barely have a reason to drive to provo anymore. less driving with gas prices the way they are is always a good thing. we also got a six pack of devastators from the liqueur store.

back at his house we got drunk while listening to the beatles and the microphones, and earlier in the day travis sold me it was hot we stayed in the water by the microphones for $20. after we were drunk we decided to see if we could find our black friend aj and see what was happening at muse. nothing was going on and we thought maybe we imagined aj, i started feeling sick from possibly too much taco bell and described it as a pirate ship attack by a cracken in my stomach. we walked back and after i felt better and more sober around 1:30 am i drove home and went to bed.

sunday i figured i would wake up late and spend the day watching movies. instead alex woke me with a phone call requesting travis and i come to salt lake again and watch movies all day even though we were already up there that friday. i agreed since that was pretty much my plan anyway and alex has a blue ray player and a big flat screed hdtv and i've never watched movies in blue ray before. so i called up travis who was not into it and convinced him, alex had already bothered him before he called me.

we met alex halfway to salt lake in draper, and he drove us the rest of the way to his house. once there we wasted enough time selecting two movies and deciding where and what pizza to get. we ended up individually purchasing large pizzas at a near by health food store, alex is ridiculous about health food.

back at alex's we ate our pizzas and watched the two movies we picked out. flatliners, a 90's movie starring kevin bacon, julia roberts and kiefer sutherland about saying you're sorry and all the boys love mandy lane, a teen slasher that was pretty good.

after the movies alex took us back to my car, he also let me borrow four david cronenberg movies, crash, eXistenZ, videodrome, and spider. i watched crash last night, starring james spader. the actors were all emotionless and had lots of sex whilst being obsessed with car crashes and injuries, i liked it.

i didn't do much on monday. i went to work and later i went to graywhale to trade in some records, i got underground, private collection vol. 1 by phil keaggy, songs of leonard cohen by leonard cohen, and take me to the sea by jaguar love with the credit.

jaguar love is the blood brothers new band, the blood brothers are pretty cool and i think take me to the sea is just as good as previous blood brothers albums. i ordered march on electric children on clear vinyl with black splatter from vinyl collective the other day. it shipped yesterday so it should arrive in the mail soon.

today i found out that two mount eerie records that i've been waiting on are now for sale at p.w. elverum & sun, ltd., lost wisdom w/ julie doiron and fred squire and dawn, an album of songs phil elverum recorded while living in a cabin in arctic norway during the winter of 2002/2003. i ordered both of them right away on my credit card because i didn't want to spend anymore than i already have. i'm a huge fan of phil elverum's music. i plan to see him play for the third time at kilby court in salt lake on the 4th of september with travis alex and some other friends 5 days before my birthday.

randy's records

travis and i drove to salt lake yesterday. we met met up with alex at the best record store in the state of utah, randy's. there's a better selection there than anywhere around. i went with the intention of spending maybe $30 on some beach boys records and maybe something new if there was anything that caught my eye. i left having spent around $70. here's what i got, the beach boys twofer repress of wild honey and 20/20, brian wilson by brian wilson, born to run by bruce springsteen, scott by scott walker, tiger army II: power of moonlight by tiger army, and dear sir by cat power. i'm pretty satisfied with my purchase because i've been meaning to get all of it except for born to run, but it's really about time i had some springsteen in my life and it was only $5.

biosolid dream

blackened hands
scraped the earth away
only to find that chick you like
only to find you're not her type
only to fight the creeping dread coming over the hill
don't fret there are other things to hold you still
wash my hands clean
all the shit i've made
hangs from the walls in a biosolid dream

where this dirty face
shines like gold
and nothing ever breaks
and these joints are never cold
and it all works out fine
and my clothes are always worn and clean
and crushes hell beneath
my very own heaven in a biosolid dream

i was a deaf boy

it's a mystery
no one ever solved
as to how i came to be
dead gone and dissolved
and it's been a long time
and still no one
knows what happened
does she suffer
since i've been gone
does she still look for my killer
to slap metal cuffs on
his wrists and put him away

i was a deaf boy
she is a hearing girl

when i was a small child
i was the greatest piano player
while i was playing from memory
she noticed and walked in on me
tapped my shoulder and signed to me
that was beautiful
she never knew
i signed it's all visual
listen i'll play you
falling snow

i was a deaf boy
who could hear once
she is a hearing girl
whos voice i wanted to hear
the nothing whispers
she made in my ear

a blow to the head took me out
and it was dark and that was it

oh lord you are here

oh lord you are here
oh lord this gift i've been keeping
oh lordie you can recieve it
it's so old and very
special to me
oh lord you are here
oh lord hear my song
i say it to the high hills
surrounding our long
stay in this place
oh lord
let me see your face
oh lord i'm terribly
longingly waiting for an embrace
and for a longtime misplaced
and unafraid
and now i'm standing
with this unworthy gift i've been keeping
shaking and the tape
has come all out of the cassette
sir, i have nothing else left

oh what for
i'm one day no more
let's give up a little
but not all of it
and see what gives or caves
or bends and breaks
lets give up a little
and hide the rest of it
and secretly bury it
in the ground
under the mattress
hide the paper trail beneath the stereo equipment
and follow one light
burning in the night
the one star that shines the brightest
and with all things cries the loudest
and see what gives

crr ch..kr cht crr ch..

so whenever i listen to music not on vinyl like mp3s on a computer or a cd or whatever and the music ends i always get this urge to get up from whatever i'm doing to lift the needle even though i know there isn't one.

ictoadnftl 1

here's a sort of best of list for my life at the moment. i can't think of a decent name for this list, i'll make more later.

1. my shitty beard and taking 22 or so photos of it to upload to my myspace.
2. cftpa.
3. dirty mind by prince that i burned to a cd-r this morning and listened to in my car.
4. money in the bank and the debt down to $1,900.
5. my local blockbuster, best video rental store i've ever had the pleasure of frequenting.
6. sci-fi movies.
7. reading pitchfork everyday.

it's like some sort of micro album

well i said i wouldn't but i went ahead and did it partially. i just purchased the stsnc instrumentals 7" by casiotone for the painfully alone, it was $5 with $2.50 shipping from people in a position to know and the color is random. i just had to get it, it's a vinyl record with ringtones on it. this seven inch along with the town topic ep 7" collects all the music recorded for some movie called stay the same never change. this one specifically contains the short instrumentals used throughout the movie including some that weren't used and the ringtones for some of the characters' cell phones. with 10 tracks total, it's like some sort of micro album.

rich mother fucker II

ok so i got payed today and i don't think i'm going to buy all those records i was planning to get at least not yet. i'm going to hold onto my money, maybe buy something i want real bad when it comes up. i'm pretty sure i can do without the records i was thinking of getting for now. i'm still going to trade in for the pearl jam records though. the second season of dexter came out recently on dvd, i might pick that up.

good television, vol. 2

i'm currently in the midst of watching the complete series of tom goes to the mayor created by tim and eric and i just finished the second disc out of three. tim and eric have created a very funny and often disturbing show that is part crude animation part live acting. tom goes to the mayor aired on cartoon network's adult swim, they are currently working on their new show, tim and eric awesome show, great job! which is even better and has a public access sketch comedy/variety show feel. i love tim and eric and tom goes to the mayor, a lot of people don't. tom goes to the mayor is not for everyone.

rich mother fucker

i get payed on the 20th and it should be a pretty burly check. i work for my dad at his used car dealership, i do a variety of things here and i occasionally sell cars. i sold a honda odyssey last thursday and that will add about $200 in commission to my check. undoubtedly i'll be buying a few records, alex sold me two of his records, the boris/doomriders live split titled long hair and tights and hibernaculum by earth. i owe him $30 dollars for those and then i'm gonna pick up some older earth albums from subpop.

i'm also thinking of getting o))) presents pentemple over at southernlord. and there's the stsnc instrumentals 7" by casiotone for the painfully alone and a square 8.375" split with concern of bruce springsteen covers. i'm certain i'll be buying those from people in a position to know recordings, they're pretty cheap and come to a total of 13$.

and to top it all off, there's two pearl jam records on hold for me at the record store, ten and vitalogy. i'm going to trade some records for those, three led zepplin records, the dead kennedys' fresh fruit for rotting vegetables, an operation ivy picture disc, and some other old records i don't care about.

seen any good movies lately?

i rented some movies the other day and saw another at the theatre yesterday. of note are well i finally watched the first terminator and predator, i've been in the mode of catching up with movies i should have seen by now. i also watched cry_wolf, and i rather enjoyed it. it presents itself as a slasher but it's really more of a thriller in slasher's clothing and a good one in my opinion, it was clever and kept me guessing until the end with all the plot twists.

i saw the matinee showing of mirrors in salt lake yesterday with travis, steve, and alex after having some breakfast at a vegan diner called vertical. anyway, after watching it we all agreed it was pretty bad. i loved the directors other two movies, haute tension and the hills have eyes remake, making it all the more disappointing. i think the biggest fault was that it lacked balls and it wasn't all that interesting or scary. also the main character, played by kiefer sutherland died at the end and ended up in some kind of mirror world where no one can see him and all the text is backwards with no real understanding of why this would happen, it was pretty stupid.

and once i got home watched dark star that i borrowed from alex. i've been wanting to see it for a long time now, but it's never been available at my local blockbuster, and i don't like purchasing movies. it's a sci-fi/comedy john carpenter made along with the writer of alien, dan o'bannon in film school. one of my favorite music groups, pinback, got their name from the character in dark star played by dan o'bannon, sgt. pinback, who's real name isn't even pinback. i haven't seen a movie by john carpenter i haven't liked and this one was no different, two thumbs up.

i never ate dinner for you

i did once know you
under black sheets
and wearing nothing at all
and i wanted only your voice
in my ear whispering
come here i need you
i made you mine for a while
and you made me yours for longer than that
i kept you closer than my things
replaced my reason to live
the gas bill was higher for you
i never ate dinner for you
i strained to hear better for you
i came inside for you and only you
replaced my reason to live
everyone else was only disappointing
i never wrote a love song
i never wrote a love song for you
but i did once know you

monolingual

i was hungry for something to eat
if forced i would devour
unimaginable horrors
i watched 7 scary movies last week
i don't speak spanish
i keep a knife under my bed
fast asleep i dream about
movie theatres and beautiful women
i make this shirt look good
i say curses under my breath
after i wake unrefreshed

editor of times magazine

give me give me give
me give me give me
goosebumps on my arms
tell me i'm the greatest
fleeting romance in harm's way
your mouth coughed up blood
i felt a sting in my leg
bullets hit us multiple
times we survived it anyway
little exit
wounds near your spine
i'm drinking a bottle of water
your my favorite magazine editor

i can make wwIII

it's damp and disgusting breathing
behind my face
i'm clothed well and dressed
ready to leave
i'm the best late night jogger
with reflective duct taped sweatpants
and moist with perspiration
i'm a swimming pool of a man
i'll bring this to an end
i can make wwIII
i can do it so easy
just count them 123
i'm gonna make wwIII and invincible and free
bring this to an end

yeah the beach boys

in a little less than a month it will be my birthday, i'm thinking of asking my parents for four records from acoustic sounds, pet sounds by the beach boys, pacific ocean blue by dennis wilson, smile by brian wilson, and brian wilson's new album, that lucky old sun. i want these albums pretty bad.

i already have endless summer by the beach boys and if i were to get those other four albums i would be fairly satisfied beach boys-wise. i saw the beach boys once with my parents when i was a kid. i think the line up was just mike love and some other guys. the only kind of music i was ever really exposed to as a little kid were oldies from the 50's and 60's and new age/adult contemporary. the beach boys i've always enjoyed though.

what is it i'm getting myself into

this is the best album by sufjan stevens. it's a homage to his home state and it's a truly beautiful record. i cant even use curse words like fucking to describe how good i think it is. here is a download for it.

http://www.mediafire.com/?2ond2pwt8zf

i've recently become aware of the term baroque pop, which i guess describes pop music containing classical elements. i'm pretty interested lately in this kind of music, and have enjoyed for a long time a lot of music by modern and early baroque pop artists before i knew the correct term for their music. sufjan stevens is considered baroque pop. 

it's ok because it's satisfying enough

i can't remember how i first got into casiotone for the painfully alone. i probably just read about him somewhere and liked the name. i do remember listening one night while smoking some sticky tobacco/weed out of a personal hookah in the back of one of my houses in provo one summer and absolutely loving it. especially the earlier stuff. the two casiotone albums that i ordered came today along with the first wolves in the throne room album, diadem of 12 stars. diadem's on clear vinyl with a pale yellowish tint, beautiful, the album art too. i listened to the first disc of two hunters by wolves in the throne room last night after i got home from the record store. so fucking good, the prettiest metal albums i own.

i'm listening to answering machine music by casiotone for the painfully alone right now, i'm really happy with my recent record purchases. except i'm bummed that two hunters was the black version, i should have known. they send the generic black ones out to retail stores. still waiting on my jesu split, shouldn't be long though. i always feel nearly satisfied with my record collection. like i want the modern lovers/jonathan richman and the modern lovers/jonathan richman records and more beach boys albums or beach boys members' solo stuff. and after i get some of that there's gonna be something else. and i really want dirty mind by prince, i found it on ebay buy it now for about $11 including shipping. the song on that album, when you were mine, that casiotone covers on the young shields 7" is really good.

the life of a record collector is a sad and lonely one, but it's ok because it's satisfying enough.

x rated freakout

staring at those christmas lights
i was so awake all night
i wanted her who was
entertaining upstairs
to come in and take my body from here
to her bedroom and have her way
with me in her bed and look at me
through x ray glasses and look away
all bashful and red oh i was
a fascist government official
i came as a solid counter top
a hard surface to support
dirty dishes mounting
and growing with a thin film
of something smooth and slippery

read download listen trade in buy shit

this is cool.

the boredoms/v∞redoms are some noisy group from japan i've been meaning to check out, i'll probably download something by them soon.

i'm listening to my sole & the skyrider band record. really very good album. sole is one of the better indie rappers in my opinion and the instrumentation of skyrider on this album is grrreat.

leaving the house in a half hour or two to trade in some shit at graywhale for some pearl jam albums and two hunters by wolves in the throne room. had them transfered in the other day.

millennium conclusion

i just finished watching the last disc of millennium. it ended pretty good despite being cancelled, it still had a little closure. i hope they make a millennium movie someday to really give it a proper conclusion. in the making of season three special feature lance henriksen talks about the experience of doing millennium as if it were an ex lover he had never gotten over and says that the ideas and possibility for a movie haunts him. it would be fucking lame if that never happens. millennium was grim and dark and often sent chills down my spine. it was thought provoking and had interesting stories to tell and characters to tell them through. i enjoyed this series thoroughly. the dvd set also included the x-files millennium cross over episode, watching it you get to see what became of frank and the millennium group at the dawn of the new millennium. now i have to go buy the x-files dvds.

ignafostic

i cut two slits in the waist of an old pair of slacks to make them fit. i'm listening to the reminder by feist, i bought it along with another record, conor oberst by conor oberst, yesterday evening. and i'll say it again i'm generally not a fan of songs that involve counting, but feist's "1234" is alright by me.

forest void

the ceiling fan moves
the still air
in the wooded forest i'm
a lone bear
the warm soil on my
hands with my fingers
stretching towards forever
my face is hot my eyes
burn as the sun
that's worlds away
out here in the void
where i'm always gonna stay
stay with me
little comfort
little security

the dust settles everywhere
my throne
my power lay dormant
my staff and it's luster gone
scuffed and ancient
ageless i kneel
my head aches
with cryptic knowing
and things barely felt
with a heart as a forest overgrown

it shall be called coronal transient

i pretty much finished recording all the songs for the don't make me 90 min. cassette yesterday. i still have to mess with the levels some so that it all has the same volume throughout. and i changed some of the track titles and the name of the album to coronal transient. once i have it transfered to however many cassettes i'm going to make and have the artwork designed and the j card inserts made it will be complete, this part of the process may take a while.

i plan on doing an ep of mariah carey covers after coronal transient is complete. maybe seven or so of my favorite mc songs. i'll record some layered vocals and fill in each track with a thick layer of noise. i'm thinking of calling it mariah carey interpretations.

i'm fucking tired

i'm fucking tired. i feel so unnecessarily exhausted. it feels as if i didnt even sleep last night.

i saw pineapple express, played some music and went swimming for like three hours with my friend brad yesterday. it had been about a month since we hung out last and a lot longer before that. good times. pineapple express is the best stoner movie ever.

i ordered the two casiotone albums and diadem of 12 stars by wolves in the throne room today. fucking two hunters i noticed last night was out of stock. i also ordered the jesu split with battles of mice last night. on the robotic empire site it said there were only 99 left of the clear black version i wanted. and on aural exploits there was only 3 and 2 of the casiotone albums left and only 1 of diadem left. so fuck it i just got everything i could before it was all gone. i'm now left with a measly $40 or so to my name. i love/hate this vinyl addiction. i'm fucking tired.

in love with the accumulating clouds

the clouds are obscuring 95% or more of the sky. hopefully if it stays this way, when i get into my black car after work it won't be an oven to melt my skin and brains.

afford can i what check my get i after

today is payday. most of my check is going to go toward paying down my credit card but some of it, but not very much of it, will be available for records and fun. i'm not quit sure yet how much money will be available to spend. there are four records on aural exploits that i want real bad, these are like records that must go directly to my record collection, do not pass go, do not collect $200. the four records will hit up my bank account for about 65$, plus there is this other minor inconvenience of a certain jesu split that was just released on clear black vinyl that i need as well. with jesu included the total price for the records i want goes up to $80.

the four records on aural are, diadem of 12 stars by wolves in the throne room, two hunters by wolves in the throne room, answering machine music: a brief album in twelve parts by casiotone for the painfully alone and pocket symphonies for lonesome subway cars by casiotone for the painfully alone. the two wolves in the throne room albums are a must, i've been planning on those for a while. i've always wanted those two casiotone albums and just discovered that they were available on aural today. one or both of those i might be able to wait on. the jesu split is limited to 2,000 pressings, it's only $15. i really should buy it. and it's on clear black. i've never seen clear black.

i also need enough cash money for the movies i want to see that are coming soon, pineapple express and tropic thunder. i guess i'll just have to see after i get my check what i can afford.

alien/aliens

i just watched alien, and i'm about to watch aliens. according to some people if you haven't seen alien you aren't a real man. i can't say i feel any manlier after having watched a movie where the only remaining survivor of a deadly alien encounter is a woman.

the midnight meat packers

i hung out in provo again yesterday, my first stop being graywhale again. i met up with some friends, travis, alex, and jeff. i traded in three records, and bought another hayden record with the credit. it's called elk-lake serenade. i'm a little disappointed because it's not quite as good as skyscraper national park. oh well, maybe it will grow on me. i also delivered the absolute edition of the watchmen to alex, we made a trade earlier, it for his copy of black one by sunn o))). jeff had to go to church, we met up with another friend, matt and later steve.

many references to my being less of a man because i haven't seen any of the alien movies were made. later we all had dinner and beers at red robin. and at midnight we saw the midnight meat train at the local $1 theatre. i had the eeriest deju vu throughout the entire movie.

hot like the sun lives next door

i hate summertime for the heat, the nights are ok though. i can't wait for this dreadful season to change into fall.

broke in through the kitchen window

it's skyscraper national park by hayden. i've never heard of this guy before but it caught my eye at graywhale and i only really bought it because i liked the packaging. the sleeve is all plain brown paper with a stamp of a moose on the front and a bear on the back. the back also has the artist name, album title and track listing in what looks like hand writing with a number two pencil.

anyway after i made my purchase i wandered around the mall for a while to kill time, i'm going to the movies to see step brothers later once travis gets off work sometime after seven. since i didn't want to drive home and then back in the direction of the movies near travis' house, i decided to kill the rest of the time there. the front door was locked so i broke in through the kitchen window. i'm currently listening to this hayden record on travis' turntable and finding that it's really fucking good. soft country melancholia from the great white north i guess.  

good television, vol. 1

one of the best tv shows ever is millennium, created by chris carter who's responsible for the x-files. millenium stars lance henriksen as frank black, a criminal profiler who can see into the minds of killers and gets involved in some pretty cool cases. he works for the mysterious millennium group for the majority of the series. i'm two and a half seasons in so nearly finished watching the whole thing, there are three seasons total.

artificial light

and you're
divine like the horses
with the sun
shining down on them
and shining back into the world

in the fields
i drive past
in my car listening
to the songs and the bit of static on
that fm radio station
and it grows dark
and the jewelry on my wrist
is bright
with the stars shining down
on them and shining back into the world

and i arrive home and pull into the driveway
and head inside
and lock the door behind
and go upstairs and open the door
to my bedroom and go
inside
and sit there on my bed alone
with one dim lamp shown
dull into
the world

saga of the swamp thing, part II

because the mountain goats are the shit, i'm including this video of john darnielle talking about booty call and performing "how to embrace a swamp creature" live.

now i'm going to watch the rest of the swamp thing movie.

great great great

i just put on side c of lcd soundsystem's sound of silver. what a great album, i have a soft spot for hipster dance music even though i'm not real into dancing. all the tracks are great but my favorites would have to be the title track, and "someone great". great great great.

saga of the swamp thing

i'm going to start reading alan moore's run on dc comic's swamp thing, there are six paperback volumes that collect #21-58, #60-61, #63-64 & annual #2. i've wanted to read these books for some time but never got around to buying them, so now i'm downloading them. i will probably have the first volume read by the end of the night. i also rented the 1982 swamp thing movie directed by wes craven the other day, i started watching it last night but it was late and i only got half way through before falling asleep. here are the downloads for each of the six volumes.

swamp thing vol. 1: saga of the swamp thing
http://rapidshare.com/files/127019234/1_-_Saga_Of_The_Swamp_Thing.rar.html

swamp thing vol. 2: love and death
http://rapidshare.com/files/127024620/2_-_Love_and_Death.rar.html

swamp thing vol. 3: the curse
http://rapidshare.com/files/127030330/3_-_The_Curse.rar.html

swamp thing vol. 4: a murder of crows
http://rapidshare.com/files/127034721/4_-_A_Murder_of_Crows.rar.html

swamp thing vol. 5: earth to earth
http://rapidshare.com/files/127040879/5_-_Earth_to_Earth.rar.html

swamp thing vol. 6: reunion
http://rapidshare.com/files/127041211/6_-_Reunion.rar.html

my wingspan spans years

i'm a vampire bat, my wing
span spans years that
are blurry and hard to see 
my cave and personal things
in it are keeping me
compppany 
i'm wrapped up in
and slept in
my 100% cotton
wings feeling
cool cavern air
on my face on my face
blood on my teeth

my bedroom is a holy place

my friend travis and i recieved our copies of april by sun kil moon yesterday from aural exploits. we got the white/black marbled version, it's the most limited of the three different versions with a pressing of 400. the other two versions are on black vinyl (retail, 1,000 pressings) and white vinyl (sunkilmoon.com, 500 pressings). ben gibbard and will oldham lend their voices for the backing vocals. here's a download for it.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=T5VK7TIH

i'm going to cut red meat and soda from my diet. i've got to shed some weight, i don't feel healthy. 

the internet hasn't been working/having issues since wednesday or thursday due to problems with the modem. it was replaced today though so everythings fine now. i'm enjoying my new record and browsing the net. probably going to watch a movie later. my bedroom is a holy place.

i am a mountain located near a village

in every room
i step foot into
quiet tremors continue
long after i've been traumatized
i've lost the ability to love her
it's so hard to love her
why am i denied her
i'll never again know
the magic between her legs
i'll never again wear
the way she saw me
that would glow from my skin
i am a mountian
located near a village
and i'll forever
keep growing foliage

the constant worries of my brain
begin to dance in my heart
seductive and smelling of rain
i want to witness every person
fall apart fall apart fall apart
crumble in on themselves
a glorious cave in
fail at everything they attempt
cut their toungues from their mouths and prevent
them from ever speaking again
silence the echoes of their voices in the canyon
will they cower at the summoning?
i doubt they will see it coming
the doomed chapter of existence
two thousand eight marks the
beginning of their insistence
to bring everything crashing down
rubble for miles and miles and miles around

the dark age is here
drawing oh so very near
and the black in my mind
will come to the surface of my skin
and i'll let loose the wings that will take me away from here from here from here from here from here from here here here ere ere re re re re e er
and i could awake in an er
and i could never wake at all
and i could open my eyes
and no one would be present to look back into mine

what is included/discussed

this is my blog, i'm calling it made by demiurge. included/discussed are things i'm interested in, poems/song lyrics i've written, updates to how my bedroom recording project is going, downloads for comics and music i enjoy, and whatever else may come to mind.